Rain

One of the joys of being a woman/girl is eyebrow plucking. Personally it's the worst experience i've had in my life. I hate it. I hate it because it makes me cry!! LOL. I can't even control the tears, they just run down from the pain. Sheesh. That eyepluckerwoman gets paid to torture people! What sort of sick twisted job is that, eh??

I leave today. Is it raining because Romania's sad i'm leaving or is it just God getting me used to the England weather? Either way, it's making me sad.

Last night i had a nightmare and woke up at 4am. I tried to resume sleeping but..no chance.

My world is usually sunny, just not today.
Not to worry, the weather forecast looks promising for tomorrow =)

Motherland: Wonder Toilet!

Back to civilisation. Mighty village experience...hmm.....could've gone better. The mud/dust/poop everywhere is a minus though. If you've ever been in any small village in eastern Romania you'd know. By small i mean... i don't think it's on the map and by poop everywhere i mean cows everywhere.
Well well, diarrhoea kept me more than entertained though. I felt sick the whole time there LOL.
Another thing was the toilet. It's outside. Need i say more? If you're posh you probably don't get what i mean by a romanian outside toilet, it is anything but posh!! It gets damn cold at night, i tell you that from experience. It being a wooden box with a seat much too high for your buttcheeks unless you're about 7ft tall, it adds to the fun. But above all, the best thing about it is that you can't close the door. Options are : close the door and remain in complete black scary darkness OR leave it cracked open and give the people in the village a sneak peek. Yes, it has complete view of the village road. They see you, you see them- lovely.
So there i was, feet suspended, waving to the passer byers. LOL In my mind... Hi...thanks for staring at me poo, how are you today??I'd invite you in my home but as you can SEE i'm busy... Village peeps there are real characters >.<

This is blatantly a very pooey post =) But I had to blog this to give it the Ruru Award for "The Worst, Skunk Repelling, Weather Bitten Toilet".
-crowd cheers-

And still... can you imagine how much worse it would have been to be constipated? Sheesh!!! Would've spent double time there LMAO!

Motherland: The Return Of The Grandma

Left my dad's place yesterday. On our last day together my grandma(his mom) showed up in Bucharest for some doctor's appointment. I love her dearly and all but God why oh why does she have to kiss my neck everytime she sees me??? Kiss on the cheek= normal greeting, but neck grandma kissing= freeeeeeaky. It creeps me out. She hangs on to me and kisses my neck, i swear, like a vampire!! Gross!

I arrived in Iasi at 12:10 am last night and found out that we're invited to go to a party.
I've just been on a train for 6/7 hours, i'm in no party mood, right? Wrong. Because you see, when i'm tired i act just like when i'm drunk, which is very happy-like. LOL. I've never been proper drunk though, so maybe i'm wrong. The party was kick ass! I only knew 2 people-ish there, but i suppose that made it more fun. It was Cosmin's (actor i met 2 years back) birthday. Happy Birthday!!! By the time we got there everyone was pretty drunk, including birthday boy who was wasted and doing some sort of african ritual dance around the room LOL.
Cake...food... and good music. Ze awesomeness!
Left at about 3am when i was very close to getting into someone else's car.
Now... bright and early (for me) we're all (auntie, mom, grandma, uncle) going to the oh so mighty village where my grandma and grandpa live.

Dad and neck-kissing-grandma are back in their own homes. Thanks Dadster for everything and i hope you know i had ze awesomeness time with you, okie dokie? I love the way we take excessive amounts of pictures LOL - every street corner!!

Moving on to mom's side of the family...see how that goes...
No internet btw, that village's too sexeh for the net =) So no updates till i get back to civilisation.
Let's hope a cow doesn't eat me or something. Evil scary creatures.

-happy dance-

Went shopping with my dad today and after 5 hours of looking, walking and switching between 2 particular stores, we went home with a flatscreen Toshiba 81" diagonal TV aaaaaaand a phone. TV for him, phone for me, quite a sweet deal, i think! It makes ze awesomeness of a 15th birthday present! =)
I've never actually had a proper phone that does more than make phonecalls and "atempt" to take photos that are useless to me since i can't download them. That's why this phone.. is fabulously fabulous, fantastically fantastic and well..fabtastic overall!!! And since i'm an official phone geek now here's the nitty gritty.
Damn this thing has everything. I'm in heaven. In materialism heaven LOL.
It's red&black, soft and slidy and dreamy and... OMG i think i'm in love with it! =O
Thank you Dadster, i will love you forever. And they say you can't buy affection. Pshhhhhhhh.
-happy danceeeee-

Why Walk When You Can Dance?

You've probably heard Faithless feat Estelle - Why Go before, it's a song i love. It's just so rhythmic, makes me get up and dance everytime! Song's been out for a long time now LOL, but i only saw the video today. If you haven't seen it, watch this.
It's ze awesomeness!! =) Somehow it makes perfect sense, too. Why walk when you can dance? Or maybe it doesn't make any sense at all and i'm crazy. I love it just the same.
I don't mind being crazy as long as i'm happy. And i am..both crazy and happy.
It's all good... it's all good... =)

Motherland: The Beginning

1am
Oh how i could've just slept on... But nope. At 1am i was on the bus. On the very cold, full of geriatrics bus to Gatwick. Yay...

2am
Starting to resemble death. Just a more uh...human version of death.

4am
Finally at the damn airport. About time!!

5am
Checking in... Security stops me because i hold a Romanian passport. Yes ALERT ALERT romanian trying to invade! Oh please, just let me go through you screwed up check-in person, you're just as tired as i am. How sucky must that be? A night shift as the check-in dude/dudette. Dang!! =O

7am
Still looking like death, after 2 more hours of wait/dozing off even more so. Everyone around me looks all friggin smiley faced and AWAKE... Geez. I wish i had a tent, then i could just camp there and sleep...

8am-11am
Finally on the damn thing. I must have the flying toddler curse or something because i always manage to sit right in front of a screaming kid. Why oh why?? All i wanted was to sleep, is that too much to ask for??
It's your fault you have a kid, OK? Not mine. So make it shut up before i stuff this useless Easyjet magazine down his throat, damnit!! =O
And ya know...i could've dealt with it if it was constant. But NOOOO , this kid was like my alarm clock, you never know when it's gonna attack. As i dozed off, getting used to the whole screaming extravaganza, i was in peaceful NapLand when i get this HARD kick in the back. Uh huh. Easyjet needs some serious new seats, people. Hyper kid was dancing. Yes, dancing, using my seat as his dancefloor.
Let's just say that... i wasn't the kid's biggest fan right then. The parents were just like "awww how cute". I was about to turn around.. smack their heads together and get the kid's seat belt and tie him up, then put him in the overhead compartment. Voila! Job done.
Sadly that was just a daydream.

11am-now
Hello Romania... so we meet again! Pretty darn good. Still haven't slept for over 50 hours but i look less like death, since I had a shower, some food and spent quality time with ze Dadster. =)
I'm happy now.
Although sleep is needed. Badly.

Packing here, packing there, packing everywhere!!

Cliff got home from South Africa last night. My mom and I are leaving tonight LOL. There are suitcases downstairs, upstairs and in between. Cliff's trying to unpack his gear and us trying to pack everything. We leave at 1am...oh how fun that will be. After not having slept properly for 48 hours.. another sleepless night is what i need!
2 hours-ish to get to Gatwick... then 2 hours wait for the check-in to start, then another 2 hours of wait to actually ride them clouds! x_x
God...you test my patience rather too often, i think. LOL. I mean... 2 weeks home alone with my mother? Gosh that's quite the endurance test plus patience! We didn't kill eachother, after all it wasn't so bad. =)

Necessary to survive this journey:

• Fully charged iPod.
• Fully charged camera.
  
• FOOD. (chocolate included)

You don't want to be stuck with a hungry Ruru for 10 hours-ish. I'm not exactly friendly when i'm hungry.
I turn into a beast. LOL.

Drifting Anonymously

I'm drifting from you.
Now this is terrible but i think it's simpler for both of us now to go our own ways and not look back.
Remember how we said that no matter what, there isn't a me and you, there is always an "us" ? Well i still believe in that. There will always be an us. No doubts about that. (here comes the dreaded "but"..) But you seem to be struggling and i seem to be getting in the way. I don't want to leave and let you struggle but I don't know what else to do, i can't seem to make you see my view on things.
It seems careless and cold, i know. And i'm sorry.
I will say goodbye, but that's not true because it's not good at all. It's a painful bye. Yeah. Painfulbye my friend.

50 things to do before I die

1. Become a fully fledged life saving doctor.
2. Fall in love truly and completely.
3. Become fluent in mandarin.
4. Eat snails.
5. Achieve black belt.
6. Own a house.
7. Tour America with my best friends.
8. Move country at least once more.
9. Go to uni and have the time of my life.
10. Make enough money to buy my mom the house with the huge garden.
11. Get a dog.
12. Defeat fear of cows. LOL. Evil things they are.
13. Kiss someone at the perfect place and perfect time.
14. Write a novel.
15. Have a Christmas with ALL of my family, romanians..british..japanese..americans..
16. Bungee Jump.
17. Sky dive.
18. Go to Cedar Point Amusement Park, Ohio.
19. Go on all the rides there.
20. Kiss someone in Paris.
21. Learn to ride a bike!!
22. Meet DK.
23. Take a gap year.
24. Have a seasonal job at a ski resort, as a ski guide.
25. Live with my stepsister.
26. Get married.
27. Have a 24 hour wedding/party.
28. Have a non-snotty non-crying adorable baby.
29. Switch lives with somebody for more than a week.
30. Sleep/lay awake under the stars.
31. Do the chacha with somebody without music.
32. Sing and dance to "baby got back" with a bad indian accent in a crowded elevator.
33. Write a love letter to Mr. Copson.
34. See Titanic in the cinema again. If not, buying a DVD will have to do.
35. Tickle one of the Queen's guards.
36. Dive with sharks.
37. Meet LT.
38. Just chill on a boat with someone special.
39. Tell my dad i forgive him and love him just the same.
40. Run a marathon.
41. Reach age 70.
42. Try pot.
43. Make lemon porn. (wtf?!)
44. Put all my belongings in a box, hide it and draw a treasure map for it.
45. Go to a rock music festival.
46. Read the WHOLE Bible...not just fragments.
47. Have a swing in my back garden.
48. Walk through a desert.
49. Tell everybody how i feel about them.
50. Achieve happiness.

If you only knew..

Spring break FINALLY!!!
I'm thinking a lot about Romania. Hell...i've never stopped thinking about it, but these few days more intensely than usual. What if i forget? What if i forget what it was like? Leave it all behind one morning? I'm not ready to let go of those 12 and a half years of my life.
This is my 3rd year in England, my 3rd school year and finally i feel less of an intruder. Less of a stranger, less alone.
I finally feel more comfortable with the idea of living here, it doesn't seem so strange anymore. I guess it's normal for it not to be a smooth run over from Romania to England since...it's so incredibly different.
I'm scared of losing touch with what i was and who i knew... I still miss it everyday but i don't wish i was there everyday, not anymore.
I figured what happened was that i couldn't let go of the people i eventually had to leave behind. That's why i found it so hard to warm up to anybody here. I warmed up to Cliff, my stepdad, eventually. I guess that was the biggest step, not to feel like an intruder in the house you live in.

I miss it though... I miss my friends, just the way we used to hang out, the way we used to be. The roadtrips we took, my memories are still with me.
I miss family terribly. Although even in Romania, we never were all together, my family is scattered all across the country. It was still comforting that they were a phonecall or 13 hour train journey away.

Now everyone is in a different timezone. One phonecall away that costs £5 a minute. And i don't think i could handle the train journey to get there.

And you ask me everytime...What's it like there? How are you? Is it different? Do you miss us?
If you only knew...

I wish you'd stop asking. I wish you knew how i felt, but you don't, you can't. It's me who has to deal with trying to fill up this emptiness as much as possible every year... as much as can go in at a time, from one visit. To last me for another year.