Thousand Mile Wish

Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they'll go on and they won't let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?

We'll find a line to follow
It's got to show real soon
Or we'll never reach this high

By Finger Eleven

101!!!

Today I write the 101st post =) Happy Birthday Green Diary!!!

(Much less important news but tomorrow i get my brand new belt, grading was last week, but Leopold was again kidnapped by parents so couldn't update. Yay for tkd!) =)

Mouse?

Erm, i received this chain thingy from my cousin asking me to share with the world what mouse i use to do those wonderful clicks that excite the hell out of everybody i'm sure. Um well here goes:

• It's Microsoft.
• It scrolls,
• It right clicks
• AND
• It normal clicks!!!
• AAAAAND mine's black and it's called Schlaus. Schlaus the mouse, he's german. Aren't you jealous?

It's like...amazing!!! =) LOL

Excuse my lack of ability to express my interest in computer mice technically.

P.S To cousin: I did this for you, i went to all the trouble of googling my mouse. That's how much i care...and how much free time i have... =O you owe me. =)

Also...Is this a superstitious thing, that if i don't keep the chain going i will be strangled by my own mouse or something? Oh well, tough luck. I'm sure i'll have an entertaining night... If i don't ever post again, you'll know why. Schlaus the german mouse is going to mouse hell.

The Copsonator, Murderer of Dreams

Murderer of dreams indeed. I had a dream of at least 2 weeks of no essay-ing. I had a dream so pure, so serene, peaceful, quiet, and most importantly essayless. This lovely dream of mine and of many more i'm sure, was suddenly brutally killed by mr. Copson aka evilness disguised in an old boring man. -sighs-
Oh how i "missed him" this summer holiday..

Award winning evilness. 1st prize so far. No claps. -grumpy face+evil stare-

Summer Fades, Tan Stays

It's September. I'm 4 days late on realising this but hey, better later than never, right?
Putting all mood swings and weird thoughts aside, I'm trying, really trying to get back into the school rhythm. Homework, scheduled meals, thoughtful jogs and last but certainly not least exams. Having them every year does suck major bumbum. But this year it's the mother of exams. The real deal. It's the biggy jiggy.

Last year of uniforms, last year of mandatory attendance in school. It feels weird being the top of the school. I get little year 9s asking for directions around school, when not long ago i used to be that year 9, completely lost. I still get lost now, but that's because I'm me, not because I'm new.

It's strange how despite this being the most important year before college, there's such a relaxed atmosphere around the year group. We all know each other now and we gel. I know who i like, who i hate and who i feel indifferent towards. We have earned confidence. And that feels good.

I wonder how long this feeling will last and how long until we'll all start despising school and counting down the seconds to when the last exam ends and when we are free for another 6 weeks until replay. I'm sure it won't be exact replay and that this year will be unique. However it is a make or break year in many ways. Fail this, and work in Sainsbury's. Succeed and proceed to A level.

People i haven't seen for over 6 weeks haven't changed one bit. My friends are still the best friends i could wish for. And above all my family, in England as much as Romania, make me feel at home. My home is where they are. That's how great they are. Thank you everyone for putting up with me.

Now the show must go on. Let the curtains open and let's watch the fancy essays crowd onto the stage.
-claps-

Been Here Before

Dear Diary,

Despite my initial thoughts about going back to Romania this summer, i did it. Mostly because the tickets were already booked and paid for. I didn't want to go. Let's put it this way - i didn't want to get attached to something i thought i had already let go of. Truth is, i hadn't let go. Not even close. Conclusion: I'm glad i went. I now realise that the connection with Motherland will always be there, as much as i try to get away, pretend England is motherland, it doesn't work that way.

All i can do is sigh, begin burying the constant aching and dig it right back up when i go back, or when i wake up, or when i accidentally think in Romanian. Yes, now it only happens accidentally. I hardly even dream in Romanian anymore. I dream of Romania, about it, being in it and yet the words come out in English. I even dreamt English subtitles to a Romanian dream once. If it's so hard to bury and dig back up all the memories about it, then why don't i just let it be? Because i can't. Otherwise it would erode my mind completely.

I've been through this, over and over, for the past 3 years and yet everytime i think it would be different but it isn't. It won't, for a long time if not forever.

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

You Should Play the Drums

You are often hyper, restless, and full of a little too much zeal. However, people may be surprised to know that you can focus your energy well. You are driven and engaged enough to be a great drummer... and you have the stamina to practice for hours. In fact, when you can channel your energy productively, it only increases! You are independent and spirited... but also consistent. You can definitely keep the beat. You work well in a group and contribute heartily - without needing to take the lead. Your dominant personality characteristic: your aggression Your secondary personality characteristic: your precision

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Saturate

If I could never find you, never mind, I would not forget you.
Can I stay alive forever?

Can I feel a chemical reaction?
Because i feel a hideous attraction
Could we share a poison apple?

By Breaking Benjamin

Christianity?

Here i am sat cross legged on my bed with an overheated laptop, debating myself whether i should blog about camp or not. Because if i do, i know all the confusion about Christianity and not much camp-talk will end up being written. I've been putting this off for nearly a week now. Not because i don't know what to say, but because what i have to say about it all overwhelms me every time i think about it, and honestly it has been on my mind most of the time.

I arrived at christian camp thinking "what am i doing here, I'm not even a christian!?" and "look at all these weirdos with Bibles!!". What struck me was how all these "weirdos" somehow connected on a level that i haven't seen before, they believed in something great with all of their heart and understood each other for it. They seemed to have so much love and trust, which i still can't grasp. How can these people be so sure, so understanding, so forgiving and just so... faithful?

I've lived fine so far without belief in God or any other "above all" spirit thingy, so why contradict myself now? Maybe there is just something particularly attractive about so many people having complete trust into something Holy, that won't do them wrong. Someone they can love that loves them back and forgives them whenever they need forgiveness. Someone that makes such sacrifices and expects nothing back, just faith and love? Maybe I've got it all wrong, but that sounds great to me. And yet, it goes against what i believe in. Here's the catch, i believe in facts. But now I'm leaning over to believing that science in a reinforcement of religion, and not an opposite, or a contradiction to it.

I wasn't a christian on camp, and I'm not one now. But God, if you're really there, give me time to give you a true chance, because right now, i can't jump straight in. And save me one of those halos please, they look fun!


<< Umm...yeah. So camp was fun and....interesting!

"Your boob is comin' out of your bra, lemme help you!"
"mmm squidgy!"
"And in and out and in and out and turn around, and in and out and in and out turn around!!" :))
-raises eyebrow-




Don't ask. Really. Don't. Ssssshhht. Just walk away from the scary sock-faced guy.

Camp

So i gave camp a try this year. To begin with i only knew 2 people there who i didn't even share a tent with. This later turned out to be the best, because i have now met so many new people that i now keep in touch with, so yay to that!

Camping out for a week, in the rain, the wind, the cold and the sunny is all that more interesting with people that you don't know. The knowing each other bit didn't take too long and became friendlier and friendlier. Some VERY friendly with each other. =)

I don't have time to give a detailed story or put pictures up so this will be a short overview.

Here it goes:

• I don't regret going.
• In fact, i think it was one of the best times i've had on a trip.
• It was AWESOME.
• The tent didn't flood, which was a bonus.
• It was Christian camp, which at first made me very nervous of going, but in the end kinda made me want to become a christian. Who knew christianity could be so fun?
• There was a barndance. It was like the camp, AWESOME.
• So yeah. It kicked ass. That pretty much sums it up i think.