Moronic BS

It's that wonderful time of year when british kids my age get to apply to post 16 education, and since i am in this country, i might as well abide by the rules and regulations.
I know where i want to go, what i want to do, and i believe i am in control - for now. And yet i find myself feeling something that i don't understand. It's nearly...fear.
I have come to fear my own feelings, how pathetic.

Coma Leopold

(Leopold has been in a coma for a while, and has just woken up after replacing his blood. ( had to reinstall windows)

I don't understand people. I honestly don't, and I'm trying so hard. Is it human nature to wallow in self pity? Fascinating. X_X
My confusion and frustration may translate as indifference, when in fact, it's pretty much the opposite. It would sadden me if that is how it is interpreted. I should make a dictionary... translating from me to everyone else, and from everyone else to me.

I only have a tiny "care circle" so anyone outside that can go swim with flying pigs for all i care. In fact, towards anyone else i am indifferent.
There's no grey, you either care, or you don't. Matters, or it doesn't.

I think I've added someone to my care circle unconsciously. And I'm scared of that, because i don't know how or when it happened, i just care. Are my filters getting weak? I hope i still have safety filters towards who i care about, because viruses are not welcome in that department, it would be disastrous. Scary thought.

Intro

The phone ringing woke me up this morning at 8am, which is just cruel on the 1st of January. Swore at the person that disturbed my peace, replied to the insanely early text, then went back to sleep. I got another hour or so of sweet sleep then got called out to go to work. Ah well, that's life.

It's probably how this whole year will be, a lot of hard work, achievements earned independently, but prompted by team work.
I don't even want to start thinking of it...And it's already here! Please rewind and give me august...

I dropped 3 sandwiches today. And i kicked a kid again. Oh the wonders of waitressing... =) Never gets dull.

I Will..

I will get all As.
I will read 100+books.
I will see MT in a swimsuit. LOL.

Happy New Year... =)

And So It Begins

You could go through it all, but at the end, it all comes down to family.
Those people that at times want to strangle you, those people that at times you want to strangle. But also those people that you never want to leave, the ones that you would give anything for.

New Year's Eve... it was never about the party, or the food, or the champagne. It was about that minute that seems to always last longer than 60 seconds, that just lingers in space. That moment of release when your mind is free to think that.. "it will all be okay". For that moment, all is perfect, the world is pink. Trying not to speak for everybody here, but it would be a sad thought if not everybody got that feeling at least that once every year. Just for a minute, let go.

What better way than to share that with your most loved ones? None, i tell you.
It is all about them. All..

Green

An A pass in tkd on Saturday!! =) -jumps of joy-
Also mock results are in, so far so good, but i don't have my maths result back yet so... Anything might still happen.
Mum miscarried.
Yep, that's pretty much all that's been keeping me busy.

1,2,3, Go Away!

You know what i hate about family? The way you can't make them stop talking without sounding rude.
-sighs-
Apart from that, i love them really..
___________

A lot of new things are going on. But for the time being, it's under cover. Not to worry, not a paid murderer just yet. Not that i would post that on the internet! Ok, maybe i would.

It's "mock week", which means exam prep and sleep time. And the occasional friend breakdown. Yes, a lot happens when you don't blog. This is also one of the very few Saturdays in months that i haven't worked. Yay to that! =)

How British Are You?

You Are 15% British

Listen mate - you're definitely not British. Or Australian. Or Canadian even. British culture is simply not your cup of tea. And you're obviously off your trolley! If it just so happens that you live or come from Great Britain, you're still not British. There's not really anything British about you. Do you even like football matches or beer?

How British Are You?

A Break

I don't believe that being unhappy can be blamed on someone other than yourself.
Do people wonder what happiness is because they have forgotten what it feels like? I don't understand it, but i'm trying to. How can you forget how to be happy? Not knowing why you're unhappy is one thing, but forgetting? Silly.

It's hard to pick yourself up. But waiting for someone is much harder.
I realise today that... I'm happy. I wouldn't have done it any other way.
I won't question in depth why i'm happy, when it happened, or how.
Just accept it and hope it doesn't go away. Oh and smile. =)

Crowded

Haven't had time to blog, or when i had time i didn't have the energy to type the feelings.
I'm seeing myself turn into one of those professional multi taskers and i hate it. What happened to the weekends when i could not set an alarm clock and when i could go to bed as late as i liked? Now everything has a time. It's all scheduled, and it all has a price. School, work, and school work. Weird thing is, i'm not complaining, i like it like this.

I quit quitting chocolate. Was never going to work.
Learnt how to ride a bike, and the chocolate was my reward. =)

"As work goes up, talking goes down" a friend told me. What if i don't want it to go down? I don't want to lose touch, although already doing exactly that.