Come back

           
I'm afraid if I start blogging now after so long I will only mention the bad things. 

Truth of the matter is that i'm utterly confused. About everything. 

I don't know how i've let myself spiral downwards. Sounds like an addict doesn't it? Well thankfully, not.

I just don't know at what point I gave up altogether. I've become a bitter, self-loathing, human loathing, rude, obnoxious bitch.

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

It looks like I've given up on my study life. I've given up on being a family. The reason that has instigated this subject in the first place was that my mom is now nearly 7 months pregnant, and there is hope again.

At what point I decided that happiness didn't exist in the UK...I don't know.

I'm at a cross roads, where I've probably failed my exams, and I'm not sure what to do.

Pretty grim comeback, after all this time. My bad.

I suppose it's better to nip these thought in the bud and sort them out than reaching out for counselling in 10 years time and blaming my absent father :) 

Anywhoo...Welcome back, Ruru...
       

Valentine's Day

                            

Today I saw Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day with MT. 

He made me a pie. (it is a bit disgusting, but cute, nonetheless) Oh and THUMB SUMOS. Yes, the perfect gift. We decided they were a must-have after I gave him sumos for Christmas. They have their own platform and everything!

I'm all loved up now, that's weird. =)

I love you!

                                        

Twice

I had watched the latest episode of 90210 on my own right before you got home. You had had a bad day, so when you wanted to watch it, I watched it again with you, because I know how much it annoys you when we don't watch it together. This means that I have also watched most of the Gilmore Girls episodes twice, because I didn't know what time you were coming home.

They're always more fun the second time.

Worse

                                
Sometimes, all you need to realise that things could be worse is a burnt piece of toast to match your mood. And sometimes you just need to punch someone. :) 
Last night was toast, but I'm not sure if that'll last. Not with this amount of chavs around.
                                               

Decided

 I've decided, no grey. It's not worth it. I don't need it. It complicates things.

In the one day i gave grey a chance, i nearly broke up with MT and spent 12 hours in bed (mostly because of illness, but still). So, on the whole, not something i'm rushing to try again.

Grey?

Do we need it? I've always been one to consider only the black and white of life. Wrong or right. Chocolate or vanilla. Don't mistake this for racism, please, but merely as an intuitive streak. As well as the rash and brash kind, I can't help but notice the ones that only see the grey.

Wouldn't that involve infinite amounts of over-thinking everything?! Which then surely won't come to a decision at all, would just settle in the middle? I don't know. Maybe the grey is the decision. Silly.

It seems that grey isn't the decision for me. It makes me feel unsettled, and I don't need that. I have England for that, I don't need indecision about everything I think of. Boy, that would be tiring.

"Best teacher to have ever taught me so far" goes to...Mr. Copson.

After reading the previous award, this comes as highly unlikely, but I have to give it to him, he does inspire me, in a good way. Not in the way other teachers do- to not do my work.

English essays

English essays must be written AFTER the relevant book/novel/play has been read. Not the other way around.

Here we are again

So. Wow, it feels like I don't know how to do this anymore. And no, that's not some deep meaningful metaphor about my life, it literally means I haven't blogged in so long that I forget what to click on.

Christmas is gone, and so is New Year's Eve. They were fun. Obviously not worth a post however.
Actually I lie, I didn't know what to say. Sometimes, silence is worth a thousand words. There's your metaphor.

I have a new job! I'm not sure if I've mentioned that before. I do laundry part time in a nursing home. It's just as jolly as it sounds, the punchline being the 7am start. Can't complain as it's surprisingly less stress and a lot more pay than waitressing, not to mention I get my personal radio. Score.

Since a blog is about pouring your soul out on paper-which-isn't-paper-because-you're-too-lazy-to-hand-write-and-who-does-that-in-2010-anyways, I should probably mention something about my boyfriend.

MT is more than I could wish for, really. Caring, thoughtful, loving, all that jazz. AND he has more games consoles than I could fit into my room.(my room is quite small, but that's still quite a few consoles!).
To be honest, he's in many ways everything i'm not. Yes, caring, thoughtful, loving, all that jazz.
Good thing he doesn't notice!

There's only so much mushiness I can fit into one post. So that was that.
There's a romanian guy on the horizon, moved here not long ago. I had been waiting and wishing for a romanian person to come here since I stepped on that paved, disgusting, airport floor at Gatwick. And now he's here and I'm disappointed. I want him to not make the mistakes I did. Don't get emo, don't hang on to Romania, miss it in tiny often bits, not in huge, impossible chunks very rarely. I wish he'd realise. At least he'll have someone to fall back on when that happens. Oh well. Let's not dwell, shall we?

Nothing has changed apart from everything

Long time no blogsies. I can't say i've been busy, unless busy slacking counts. Yes, fallen into my old school habits. What would have made this year any different after all? Ironically, this week ze Copsonator is back to teach me english literature for the last time, feels like he shouldn't have left. But now that he has, I appreciate him.

What else...Oh!! I learnt to ride a bike, also. That's another vital skill i now know thanks to England.

I need to go back home soon. It's just not the same.
I don't think I can handle another Christmas here. Romania visit time, I think.
This is just getting rainier and colder. I don't like it.