Art Trip - After

I have decided i love Paris more than London. Actually I'm not sure i even love London at all, i guess it was just one of the first giant cities I've seen and it shocked me. But Paris... It's my kind of place. A place where you can get lost ( and we did), a place where you can stare at artwork for hours..and hours (and we did), a place where you can wonder, dream, stare up high and low and everywhere you'd see beauty. It fascinates me how every time i go there i am mesmerised- I've only been twice but i would still go another hundred times.

I think most of us discovered a little bit about themselves, if not a whole lot on this trip. I certainly did discover a lil' something about myself, which i was trying to cover up so hard. I discovered that maybe I'm not as strong as i thought i was, and there's a scary thought. Certainly for the past 3 to 4 years, i have known that i could get over anything. Well that theory went up in bright flames when tears started rolling down my face at the sight of a confession booth inside Sacre Coeur.

It was a very self analytical trip for all of us, and i think some have solved problems and some have just opened up a box that was never meant to come up again. Turned out it was benefiting when we realised that we had friends there with us to back us up.

I thought i had faced my demons and won, but i guess some escaped and hid very well. Now i know where they are and what will kill them, so it's all good. This trip could not have been more perfectly timed... and I'm not speaking just for myself in saying that. It was about self-knowing and knowing each other as much or even more than it was about art. Actually that was art itself, if you ask me.

Art Trip - Before

In a mad rush to get rucsac and suitcase ready. Obviously it's not that mad of a rush, since i still have a few precious minutes to waste on here. =)

Guess what guess what guess what what what!!! I have a new camera. -jumps of joy- A Nikon D40!!! -jumps of joy higher and faster- Still thinking of what to name it but i'm sure inspiration will strike once i get to Paris.
We're leaving tomorrow bright and early and NikNik (temporary name..original, no? ) is coming with me!
So is Helen aka zebestfriend and Seb aka zesebster. But they're not important...oh no Niknik..you come way above all them. =) I'm so happy i could jump. No, that's wrong. I'm so happy i could jump again! -jumps of joy!!-

I don't think i've used this many exclamation marks since...well, ever.
Huge thank you to Cliff. He's ze awesomeness photographer, truly is. And you know the best thing about that, i can borrow all his bigboy lenses haha. =) It's great!

This trip should be interesting in terms of the people going on it. From the emos to the chavs and in between, there's enough of each social group to make this a very memorable trip indeed..

Yay to Paris and trips! -one final jump of joy...legs starting to ache- =)

And Time Out

Today is one of those days when everything is in balance. The end of the week... when i've finished all essays that were due in this week, put uniform in the wash, and threw my school bag as far away from sight as possible. Bliss. Today i haven't argued with my parents, or a teacher, or a friend. Today everything fell into place.
After a week of frictions and nasty temper collisions... i think the balancing was timed right.

I could survive for 1 minute, 35 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Note

Note to self - DON'T bother asking for sick days off school. Never works.

Guide To Permanent Cheerfulness

3 people have asked me in the past week how i stay cheerful. How do i get over things. Truth is, i'm not always cheerful, because that's impossible. You'd end up boasting a fake smile and some very stiff jaws by the end of the day. I've noticed how some still try this though, and as i predicted, very stiff jaws indeed. I just look at them and think "you silly bitches" or if they don't have a vagina "you silly male bitches".

Everyone seems to try and be perfect, which is no new trick in the book. Everyone tries to cover up what hurts and smile pretty and ask people pointless questions trying to distract attention from their own insecure dark secrets. I'm sick of that. I'm sure i appear as one of those fake happy people. Because i am in fact 97.5% happy. But that's because i've been through the whole fake smile period. The whole "hello, how are you?" and the "i'm great, thanks, and you?"- don't get me wrong, it's a great intro to a conversation if you actually care, but if you don't, it's a waste of words.

In fact, it scares me how much i don't care. Really. I must be some sort of heartless creature. And guess what, i'm okay with it. Whatever makes you happy, right? If worrying about your hair or make-up is how you get through your day then fine. If moaning about how much homework you have makes it easier for you to sleep, then fine. In some cases i do care, a lot. But those cases are very rare. And not rare like diamonds, rare like Beavis and Butthead fans. Yes, that's right.

I know what i have to do to make Ruru happy. The people that have asked how i stay sane and happy have gotten pretty weird answers such as "i daydream about lemons", which is correct. However, maybe they would've been less confused if i just said that i know me.

Until you know the little things about a person, you can't say you know them. And that's when it gets interesting. You then achieve a level where you can choose to make them miserable or happy, because you know how to do both. I believe that's where true human evil lies. Maybe i'm wrong. To me it's a sound explanation of true evil. The kind that's done through nothing but gestures, not even words are needed. The cruelest things can come out of that, the darkest places in people's hearts can be revealed. You don't need punches and kicks to hurt. To have true power all you need is eyes, ears and sometimes a functioning brain.

I come back to the held up shields that some hide behind everyday and think that they do it with good reason, but in a very silly way, because this only puts their weaknesses on the spotlight instead of hiding them away as they were intending. Then people like me notice, and choose.
Cruel world indeed.

Thousand Mile Wish

Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they'll go on and they won't let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?

We'll find a line to follow
It's got to show real soon
Or we'll never reach this high

By Finger Eleven

101!!!

Today I write the 101st post =) Happy Birthday Green Diary!!!

(Much less important news but tomorrow i get my brand new belt, grading was last week, but Leopold was again kidnapped by parents so couldn't update. Yay for tkd!) =)

Mouse?

Erm, i received this chain thingy from my cousin asking me to share with the world what mouse i use to do those wonderful clicks that excite the hell out of everybody i'm sure. Um well here goes:

• It's Microsoft.
• It scrolls,
• It right clicks
• AND
• It normal clicks!!!
• AAAAAND mine's black and it's called Schlaus. Schlaus the mouse, he's german. Aren't you jealous?

It's like...amazing!!! =) LOL

Excuse my lack of ability to express my interest in computer mice technically.

P.S To cousin: I did this for you, i went to all the trouble of googling my mouse. That's how much i care...and how much free time i have... =O you owe me. =)

Also...Is this a superstitious thing, that if i don't keep the chain going i will be strangled by my own mouse or something? Oh well, tough luck. I'm sure i'll have an entertaining night... If i don't ever post again, you'll know why. Schlaus the german mouse is going to mouse hell.

The Copsonator, Murderer of Dreams

Murderer of dreams indeed. I had a dream of at least 2 weeks of no essay-ing. I had a dream so pure, so serene, peaceful, quiet, and most importantly essayless. This lovely dream of mine and of many more i'm sure, was suddenly brutally killed by mr. Copson aka evilness disguised in an old boring man. -sighs-
Oh how i "missed him" this summer holiday..

Award winning evilness. 1st prize so far. No claps. -grumpy face+evil stare-