I want to..

Now that I'm back on track with ze blog.. I can continue in my usual rambles.
As i was philosophizing about happiness, i discovered something unpleasant. It really doesn't matter what or who makes you happy. It's who you would want to make you happy. Goes hand in hand with love. Doesn't matter who you love or who loves you, it's who you want to love and who you want to love you.
Damnit. Ya know God? You could have made this so much easier...oh but no. You went on and made me think crazy thoughts. Thanks..

Update

Went to Scotland last week. And yes...a bit late on the updates. Edinburgh was amazing. Nothing near to Paris, but still awesomeness. I'm not gonna promise to post the pictures on here at some point.. because i'm pretty sure i did that with Paris and it never happened. It was a happy week. And that's all that matters, with pictures or not.

Words

2 books down, 98 to go =)

1. 11 Minutes by Paulo Coelho.
2. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

L Word

Love has been on my mind lately. The more I think of it, the more it frustrates me how unable of understanding it I am. Once I am angry enough with myself, I seem to come up with an idea, a definition which after about 1 minute I dismiss and shake my head at my own stupidity.

Can anyone tell you a concrete definition? Or even better they say "everyone has their own meaning of love". But really, is that the best we, as humans, can do? Their own meaning of love..what a joke. BS. Maybe our human egos are just too fat to accept that love, despite whichever experiments, research, debates and experience we have been through, cannot be explained. Too damn right that it's beyond me. And I stopped digging through my brain for an answer.
Hell, maybe one day, I'll know. Maybe even follow one of the criteria of "happily ever after" , you never know.

"I love you" - what the hell does that mean?! Enlighten me..

Snow..?

It snowed today. Yes, in England. Surely there is something dubious going on with the universe.
It was a perfect day. Spent with friends and Pie.
If there is a God up there, i thank you.
We needed this.
Oh and i'm happy. =)

What Kind Of Thinker Are You?

Your Thinking is Abstract and Sequential

You like to do research and collect lots of information. The more facts you have, the easier it is for you to learn. You need to figure things out for yourself and consider all possibilities. You tend to become an expert in the subjects that you study. It's difficult for you to work with people who know less than you do. You aren't a very patient teacher, and you don't like convincing people that you're right.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

You Know You're a Teenager When...

You know you're a teenager when your mother speaks of the music you listen to as "noise".
"I don't know how you can concentrate with that noise going on" - that was just precious! =)

Moronic BS

It's that wonderful time of year when british kids my age get to apply to post 16 education, and since i am in this country, i might as well abide by the rules and regulations.
I know where i want to go, what i want to do, and i believe i am in control - for now. And yet i find myself feeling something that i don't understand. It's nearly...fear.
I have come to fear my own feelings, how pathetic.

Coma Leopold

(Leopold has been in a coma for a while, and has just woken up after replacing his blood. ( had to reinstall windows)

I don't understand people. I honestly don't, and I'm trying so hard. Is it human nature to wallow in self pity? Fascinating. X_X
My confusion and frustration may translate as indifference, when in fact, it's pretty much the opposite. It would sadden me if that is how it is interpreted. I should make a dictionary... translating from me to everyone else, and from everyone else to me.

I only have a tiny "care circle" so anyone outside that can go swim with flying pigs for all i care. In fact, towards anyone else i am indifferent.
There's no grey, you either care, or you don't. Matters, or it doesn't.

I think I've added someone to my care circle unconsciously. And I'm scared of that, because i don't know how or when it happened, i just care. Are my filters getting weak? I hope i still have safety filters towards who i care about, because viruses are not welcome in that department, it would be disastrous. Scary thought.

Intro

The phone ringing woke me up this morning at 8am, which is just cruel on the 1st of January. Swore at the person that disturbed my peace, replied to the insanely early text, then went back to sleep. I got another hour or so of sweet sleep then got called out to go to work. Ah well, that's life.

It's probably how this whole year will be, a lot of hard work, achievements earned independently, but prompted by team work.
I don't even want to start thinking of it...And it's already here! Please rewind and give me august...

I dropped 3 sandwiches today. And i kicked a kid again. Oh the wonders of waitressing... =) Never gets dull.